As I go about my normal non-work morning routine, I have a few things I do. I check the news for any major headlines, check personal email, Facebook, and I check the obituaries because, lets face it, we're not Spring chickens anymore.
I saw a name and picture I recognized. The wife of a friend and former coworker of mine had passed away. My initial thought was, of course, "that's sad, she was so young." I dug around and got the number of my friend and sent him a message of condolence.
I found out later that she had, in fact, comitted suicide. This suicide was over grief from having lost a child eight years ago, also to suicide.
I've said it before and I'll say it again... be nice and non-judgemental to people as much as is feasible because you just never know what they are going through and you don't know how much they are keeping to themselves.
By all accounts, my friend and his wife were a happy couple. They traveled alot, there are a lot of pictures of them smiling on social media and there was nothing, overtly, that might suggest something deeper and darker was happening.
That is not to suggest deception of any kind, not that they owe anyone an explanation about how they choose to grieve over their child.
I have another friend that lost a child and they are still grieving. I'm pretty sure that isn't something that time makes better. Having never lost a child, I just cannot imagine how it feels.
I'm 52 and I have been around the block a few times. That said, I have never lost a child. Both my parents are still alive. I have lost my job a few times and I have been divorced. That is the extent of the truly bad things that have happened to me. There are other things that are a bit more nuanced in a bad way but I don't think anything that could be considered an unexpected tragedy has occurred.
Bottom line... look after the people in your circle/tribe. You just never know. I'm not saying be nosey and get all up in their business. I am saying be aware and emotionally intelligent about the people around you. Much of that has been lost these days. That is part of what I love about my Mason lodge. Men look after each other and each other's people.
My prayers go out to anyone going through this kind of trial in their lives.
